The following article is from a booklet of the same title. A print edition is available here.

 

 

Introduction

Have you noticed even the word modesty can feel controversial in what would be considered conservative Reformed churches today? As a means of fighting for the truth and sound doctrine, to not let God’s Word slip away or get buried in the darkness and deception of today’s world and culture, I’m writing about something that we wouldn’t need to have a conversation about if we lived in a more healthy culture; but today modesty is a topic to talk about — and not a battle we can opt out of.

 

As someone who did not grow up in the church as most have, but going from fashion editor in New York City, to being born again in Christ, and now a designer of simple, discreet dresses for young women, mothers and homemakers, I thought maybe I could bring another angle to the conversation on modesty and keep it at the forefront — even if it flies in the face of a rebellious land and offends many who profess Christ. As a dress designer, my aim has been to let the creativity God has given me to design dresses that solve a problem that I saw. My designs could end up being at the forefront of a trend — but that’s not the aim or goal. So, it’s not that naturally wearing something that’s beautiful and happens to be what others may be moving towards is bad, but the desire to follow trends and stay in step with the world — that is not discretion, meekness, and not where we want our hearts to be. Someone could be wearing the same dresses but with two very different hearts.

 

This article focuses on women and modesty, but it doesn’t disqualify the modern problem with men and immodesty, as there has been a loss of masculinity and adopting more feminine qualities, wearing tighter clothes and spending more time on looks and wanting attention. Men are required to be discreet and modest as they walk in godliness, just as women are, and steer away from vanity and overly focusing on the outward appearance and on self, to draw attention. 

 

The Gospel is the central reason why clothing matters. And that’s why I care. Because the Gospel is everything. Let's start in the beginning. 

 

God, the first Designer of clothing

The deep theology of clothing begins in the Garden, in Creation and in the Fall. When Adam and Eve were walking in perfect union with their God, with no shame arising from their nakedness, they were innocent. In the Fall when sin entered the world, through Adam and Eve’s disobedience, we lost our innocence. By God's design, clothing was created to cover our shame. As we see in Genesis 3, God promised to crush the head of the serpent through the Seed of the woman. Now we live in the Gospel reality that in Christ we are clothed in His righteousness, no longer making our own fig leaves of righteousness. Through the sacrifice and death of that animal whose skin covered Adam and Eve, the Lord revealed our need for a substitution to bear the punishment of sin, through the shedding of blood, that ultimately pointed to the final sacrifice of the blood of the precious, spotless Lamb of God. 

 

You must be born again.

The Gospel changes everything. A woman who is a new creature in Christ is no longer walking in a way to glorify self but to glorify Christ alone. This can only happen through a regenerated heart wrought by God’s sovereign grace in His electing love. When a woman knows God, knows the One who chose her in Christ before the foundation of the world, she will not look like or act like other women who do not know the living God. She is not only clothed in dignity, but her modesty is her meek and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. "Because God is holy, those who profess His name should reflect who He is" (1 Pet. 1:14-16). If you are a Christian, everything in your life is submitted to a holy God. As a part of Christ’s royal priesthood, we are called to a life of holiness. The pagan world is watching us and Scripture is telling us how Christians are to walk. We glorify God with our good works because the world is watching us. Our lives shut down the false accusations. Christ was and is our supreme example. We preach and represent the Gospel of Christ with our lives. In a dark, pagan world, we shine as lights and live as a testimony of Christ in pure conduct that the world cannot ignore.

 

Gospel Adorned.

Modesty adorns the Gospel. There is a depth and beauty of modesty that can only be truly expressed or understood by those in Christ — not those who are simply in moralism or traditionalism or following after some feminine aesthetic. This is the kind of modesty that surpasses outward adorning. It is a modesty that adorns the Gospel. In his book, Christian Modesty: The Public Undressing of America, Pastor Jeff Pollard describes modesty as,

 

"The inner self-government rooted in a proper understanding of oneself before God which outwardly displays itself in humility and purity from a genuine love for Jesus Christ rather than self glorification or self advertisement. Modesty then is a humble state of heart and it is a disposition that expresses a humble estimate of oneself before God. It is holiness and humility in the heart expressed by appropriate clothing on the body."

 

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. (1 Pet. 3:2)

 

We cultivate a beauty that arises from the heart — the new heart we have in Christ. In God’s time and in His way, God makes us see our sinfulness and we repent and look to the Lord Jesus Christ. Everything doesn’t fall off overnight. We are born again and then we begin to grow. Peter is talking to women and telling them that their new heart, alive in Christ, will work its way out in our adorning. Let His grace be the fire and the fuel in your service to Him. Those who are born again have the power that raised Jesus from the dead dwelling in them — they have the very Spirit of God in them. He changes people. They are new creations. Pastor Jeff Pollard said, "If we cannot love a God who has done this for us, talking about what we wear isn’t going to matter. But if we love this God, then everything about us matters."

 

For the woman in Christ, clothing is a display of godliness and submission not power, covetousness or a means of drawing attention. We know that our most beautiful feature is our heart. We wear that which expresses the newness we have in Christ. It is a grace and strength for a woman to submit to modesty. Modesty is a rich gem for a woman.

 

Your external beauty needs to make a claim to who you profess to follow, a claim to godliness; it must say "I follow the Lord Jesus Christ." True beauty is in the hidden person of the heart — your external beauty is not what defines you; it is not your source of beauty; but this beauty is not something that remains hidden, but is imperishable — it is the quality of a meek and quiet spirit — one that is a God-given gift. Gentleness can be understood as not behaving in your own way — it's about treating others with gentleness; this is directly linked to a submissive wife. A meek and quiet spirit is not a "ladylike" character — it is a Christlike character. He is the one who never reviled while being reviled. He is the one who entrusted Himself to God in all circumstances.

 

Your adornment and beauty is not in what others think of you or ultimately in what you wear. Your beauty is not even what your husband thinks of you — this doesn't define what you are. The beautiful manifestation of that meek and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God. You find your source of beauty in the hidden person, that quality that the Lord has given women in Christ. This makes a woman confident in who she is — what greater thing than to be precious in the sight of God. She strives to do what is right in the role that the Lord has called her for. He didn't create you as a man or to fulfill the role of a husband. And wives have an example in Christ. Peter describes wives who were forerunners, these holy women, set apart by God and for God, women who hoped in God, trusted in Him, and because their hope was in God, there was an ongoing adorning of themselves with a meek and quiet spirit. 

 

The sin of immodesty

Modern fashion is not thinking about modesty, glorifying God, or the biblical model of womanhood. Its focus is on covetousness and sensuality. Our clothes always speak volumes — this is not antiquated or legalistic. The fashion industry understands this better than most professing Christians. Never underestimate the power of the sin of immodesty. The Puritan, Richard Baxter said,

 

"You little know what you have done, when you have first broke the bounds of modesty; you have set open the door of your fancy to the devil, so that he can, almost at his pleasure ever after, represent the same sinful pleasure to you anew; he hath now access to your fancy to stir up lustful thoughts and desires, so that when you should think of your calling, of your God, or of your soul, your thoughts will be worse than swinish, upon the filth that is not fit to be named. If the devil here get in a foot, he will not easily be got out."

 

In the context of public worship

I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. (1 Tim. 2:8-10)

 

Modesty is for everyday life, as well as public worship. Here, Timothy is addressing Christians in the context of worship. Christ died for us that we may worship Him, magnify Him, and gather as a body in His name. We have an obligation as we come before God, to dress modestly in His congregations. Pastor Jeff Pollard said, "To ignore the Holy Spirit’s directive regarding women dressing modestly is to exit the realm of spirit and truth. God is looking for them who worship Him in Spirit and truth."

 

Adorn means "to put in order, to arrange, to beautify through decoration, to be attractive." Women were made by God to adorn. There is beauty in orderliness. Modest, discrete clothing is appropriate and fit for the occasion when coming into the presence of God in public worship. Women professing godliness adorn themselves with that which is honorable to God.

 

Many, many churches are false and could care less about modesty — and it shows. But true biblical churches do display a level of modesty and when there is an ongoing issue of immodesty it is addressed — by husbands, fathers, and Titus 2 women also teach the younger women in the church how to dress in a way that is righteous and godly, respecting the One she adorns. 

 

Your outward appearance in clothing, word and deed reveal your heart.

We often hear a common defense "You don’t know my heart." But Paul Washer once said, "I know what’s in a man’s heart when I see his words and actions." Scripture tells us, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)

 

Modesty is an inward principle that expresses itself in external or outward behavior. In other words, you can be covered from head to toe and be sensual, or you can love the Lord but know little about modesty yet. Modesty is an issue of the heart.

 

The heart is crucial. We can become so fully preoccupied with externals, and it is equally unbiblical as immodest clothing. When we have a new heart in Christ, it will follow externally. Our adornment should make the same profession of godliness that we do. Everything about us should speak of Christ.

 

What is in your heart will gush out into your life. You want the Word in your heart. It pushes out everything that is impure. By nature you love wickedness. God wants us to love what He loves and hate what He hates. When Scripture speaks of the heart, it’s speaking of the inner man, the real you — what will stand before God on the day of judgment. We guard our hearts against wicked and worldly ways to make entrance. "For out of it are the issues of life." (Prov. 4:23)

 

We have a responsibility. He’s given us His Word so we know His will. Stop letting grace be an excuse for continuing in your wickedness. There must be love for God and His glory. There must be love for others. Love for Christ must be our motive for modesty. Remembering who we are in Christ must be our corrective.

 

We must be mortifying the deeds of the body and resisting the temptation to be sensual or expose our bodies or draw attention to ourselves in ungodly ways. The internal gives birth to the external. It is the excess and sensuality that Paul is forbidding. It’s utterly inconsistent to dress for attention in such a context. Women in Christ have a dignity, honor, and self-respect that keeps them from excess, sensuality and ostentatiousness. We have a loving respect and honor for those who look at us. Modesty is an inner self-respect that respects others. Culture says "Do what you want" and "Be yourself." But the Bible talks about keeping oneself unstained from the world, dying to self, giving to the poor — not clothing ourselves in luxury, no longer living in covetousness, and following Christ in true religion — not just show.

 

As godly women, we walk in wisdom. We know when to hold back — with our tongues, our spending, our clothing — to walk in a biblical balance that creates beauty and modesty that knows what to reveal and what to restrain, knowing the boundaries and desiring to stay within them, not showing off. 

 

Christ is Lord of our closets and wardrobes.

There is a place for practical application here without writing a list of specifics. I am thankful for the historical example in the Old Testament as well as what we know about how Jesus Himself dressed, that God made clothing go from at least the neck to over the knees. I want to focus on some helpful questions you can ask yourself when choosing what to wear:

 

Is it pure? Does it speak of Christ and His glory? Is it drawing attention to self, or pointing to Christ? Is it overly luxurious, or is it simple and discrete? What is the feeling or emotion that’s driving my choice? Am I desiring power, or attention when I wear this? Does it make me look sexually available? Is it something I would want to be wearing if Christ returned in that moment or if He was physically sitting right next to me? Am I pulling things up or down in order to be comfortable? Do I feel free and in joyful submission? Am I adorning my husband with my clothing, representing him well? Does my wardrobe adorn the Gospel and my Husband in Christ as I represent Him to the world? Do I need to put more time into planning a wardrobe that glorifies God, or do I need to spend less time thinking about clothing? Where can I beautify or simplify? Have I asked my husband, father, and/or godly women in my local church if I have any blind spots in what I’m wearing?

 

Aim to maintain biblical balance with modesty. As with everything in Scripture, we must walk the narrow way, with a vigilance against the constant danger of falling into the right or left ditch. It is no longer beautiful, biblical modesty that adorns the Gospel when we lack sensitivity and get casual and loose with what we wear — and on the other end of the spectrum, when we fall into legalistic bondage. The heart is wrong in both these instances and that wrong heart displays itself outwardly in a way that is not very beautiful. One side abuses the grace of God and the other side makes grace of none effect, standing in a self-righteous spirit. Avoid the ditches at all costs. We must never take the Lord’s name in vain by living in a way that is not adorning Him.

 

The Pharisees and legalists have mastered the rules. Matthew Henry said,

 

"A modest dress is a very good thing, if it be the genuine indication of a humble heart, and is to instruct; but it is a bad thing if it be the hypocritical disguise of a proud ambitious heart, and is to deceive. Let men be really as good as they seem to be, but not seem to be better than really they are."

 

As we grow in grace and become more and more sensitive to God the Holy Spirit in us, and what pleases Him and truly glorifies Him (and not self), we will build a wardrobe that feels natural to us and walk in freedom and liberty to not sin through legalism nor lawlessness. 

 

Final thought

The world gets smaller and smaller and heavenly things get more and more in the forefront of our minds. We can come to a comfortable place of understanding our liberties and limits. As women our beauty adorns the Gospel, both inwardly — and outwardly in how we carry ourselves, dress ourselves, and use our tongues. We can be gloriously free in our simple and modest wardrobes. Paul Washer said once, "There is a difference between beauty and sensuality, and God is not against beauty, but He is against sensuality." I have always appreciated beauty and I love making things beautiful. There is true freedom and liberty walking in God’s design, glorifying Him and making our religion beautiful to onlookers in every area of our lives. Let’s pray for meek, quiet, content hearts that are precious in the sight of God.